Endorectal MRI Results
I waited nervously for Dan to bring home the results of the latest MRI. The worst part of all of this is waiting for the latest development. But then you remind yourself that you will deal with whatever presents itself. Dan and I had a discussion the other day. It’s like it’s no longer just us in this relationship. It Dan and me and the Cancer.
Cancer/Kancer Dirty Rotten Lousy Lowdown Cancer Unwanted Visitor
- go screw yourself cancer- BEAT IT
I wanna pretend it’s all a bad dream. On some level maybe it is. Buddhism holds that this whole life thing we are in is just a drama, and old Shakepeare himself told us that "each is an actor playing his part".
Well, if I align myself with any "religion" it is Buddism. But then I hate systems and constructs. It just really comes down to Dan and me, and we are soo sad and he is trying so hard to be with all of this. And it hurts to watch.
Religion. Philosophy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It’s still hurts.
Cancer really pisses me off. I have lost five relatives and two good friends from this dread disease. Dan’s mother also died from cancer. I am no longer scared of it. I just hate it. I also do not trust it. One microscopic cell could be floating in the system and bam- metastasis. A prognosis is only that. Gotta work hard at living in the moment. No guarantee with the Big C. No guarantee with much really except our own attitudes.
The whole darned deal is this: There is no guarantee of anything in life. We each have one locus of control, and that is how we choose to deal with stuff. Personally, I have to jump into anything that comes up and grovel in it. I want to seek out all the dark corners and the bright ones too.
Marie Curie said, "Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood." In case you don’t know she and her husband were scientists. Think they discovered radium. Well, anyway even though all of this cancer study has often been scarier than a Stephen King novel, it proves Mrs. Curie’s point as true. I learned and was so surprised to know that even people who are diagnosed with distant metasteses can still be alive 10 years later. Look at Lance Armstrong. He had cancer in his liver and in his brain six years ago or so. The point is that the patient must know his disease and understand the parameters of the pathology of his cancer. He must know the stage. He must know the level of aggressiveness (the grade). All cancers are not created equal. That’s why a person absolutely must take possession of his pathology report and study every single aspect of it. It is the pathology of the cancer that determines prognosis. Just knowing the type of cancer and its stage is much less important than the actual cellular structure of the cancer.
So it looks as though Dan will be needing to have blood taken monthly and be ever vigilant because the doctors will not be. They are just too darned busy and overloaded especially the ones that are part of managed care organizations. That is why we are choosing to go out of network. It will cost us more, but there will be much more individualized care given to Dan’s case. Even so, he will need to be watching this thing like a hawk for the rest of his life, and God know I hope his life is a long one.
The MRI seems to indicate that the cancer may be outside of the prostate. Hopefully, not far. If it is, then the cancer is not in the "caught early" stage. Still very treatable, but much more high risk business here. I freaked for just a bit on this news. We’ve got the best we could find with Dattoli. One thing I learned in the hundreds of hours of research, is that it is the skill of the DOCTOR one must choose. One should NOT choose the facility. I also read that people spend more time shopping for a car than they do a doctor. One must research the doc, interview him/her and ask for patient references. Yes, shop for the doctor. Yeah, most of them do not like it, but hey baby that’s life in the fast lane. The internet has changed it all. And I also have read studies that confirm that the people who get the best medical care are the ones with the big bucks and/or the ones who conduct major research. Trust me, babe, the best docs are all over the internet if you search on sites that are NOT doctor sponsored. The best site I found for Pca is Don Cooley’s. He is a cool dude computer geek who got prostate cancer and created his own site. Real conclusive. Just takes donations. He lives in Silicon Valley.
Dan will have to have his prostate and area beyond radiated before the seed implants. Dattoli’s color doppler ultrasound is highly sensitive at picking up stuff that an MRI cannot . Few facilities have CDUS not even Moffitt Cancer Center. Go figure. Pays to research. Do not choose the facility. Choose THE DOCTOR.
I don’t trust anything until I have facts and piles of them. My Mom taught me this. She was smart and feisty. I’ve had lots of doctors totally turn off to me. Ask me if I care.
I am Paula’s sister and have had cancer. I think , like most things in life, people don’t really understand until they have experienced the disease themselves or have been close to someone with the disease. I know when I went to 38 radiation appointments, drove myself, was radiated, and then drove to work for 8 hours, no one seemed particularly aware or cooncerned. That is because all of our lives go on, and some of us have road bumps along the way. Mostly all of us have them, just at different times and perhaps different diseases or such. The good thing is that the human spirit is very resilant and we do figure out how to deal with these challenges in our lives. I think letting go of expectations of others, that they will be compassinate to us, is a good thing to let go of. then the people who are caring , take us by surprise, and that is very welcoming.
Comment by Melanie Brigham — December 6, 2005 @ 9:08 am
My husband has been dealing with bladder cancer since 2001. We have every confidence in his Dr. even when the initial interview was brisk and the Dr. brusque. We are moving cross country and will need to pick a new urologist or urologic/oncologist. I will try and research for the best one in the Pacific Northwest as we will then move to be close to the best Dr. How did you go about research the best Dr. I could use some advise on how to do this.
Thanks
Comment by Knomad — December 7, 2005 @ 3:02 pm
Knomad, Talk to as many people as you can. Search the internet for the location you are going to. Join mailing list on the internet re: Bladder cancer and ask there. That is where my wife started finding information regarding Dr. Dattoli who is my doctor. Also ask Dr’s if they have published or not this would be a good indicator also. Best of luck in your search.
Dan
Comment by Dan — December 7, 2005 @ 3:10 pm
Thanks for the information. I forgot to mention I lost an Uncle to Prostate Cancer also 80 percent of the men who have bladder cancer also have prostate cancer.
I will continue to follow your blog. For what it’s worth your course of treatment sounds like the best option you have. I hope the results are all you hope for
Comment by Knomad — December 7, 2005 @ 3:19 pm
Like you, I have experienced a loved one die of cancer; my mother; four years ago. She was a “victim” of a Dr. who explained away the golf ball size lump in her breast as a cyst. A year later it had spread to lymph nodes. After mastectomy, treatment and tamoxifin for ten years she was declared “cured” Wrong - it metasticized in her bones. I agree you have to be diligent in insisting on certain things from the Dr. She was blessed to have a caring sensitive doctor the last three years of her life. SHe was treated so well by the folks at Duke and UNC.
I say this because even though I work with Dan, I have never shared my story with him. I don’t know if sharing it now makes a difference, but I want him to know he has friends here that he may not be aware of. I have been praying for Dan, as have many of his coworkers, and for his wife as well in what she will be experiencing as they go on this journey together. I hope that brings comfort. I don’t know what beliefs he has about God, but he knows there are many of us here at school who do believe, and I hope he and Paula will allow us to lend our help in the form of prayers because we do believe that God is the ultimate healer and we do have faith that Dan will be cured of this nasty demon called cancer.
Dan, we are here for you because you are a true treasure to us.
Comment by dbrant — December 8, 2005 @ 4:36 pm
Fellow PCa survivors (and other Cancer survivors): A few days ago I counselled with yet another
urologist here in the Dallas-Ft. Worth (TX) area. His name is Dr. David S. Ellis of UANT (urologists of North Texas). This guy had obviously gotten the buzz from another uro (in the same
office) that I was some kind of nut who thought he could cure his PCa with herbs, vitamins, Essiac Tea, Green Tea and a lot of healthy veggies, fruits and nuts. He came into the examination
room in a brusque manner and proceeded to practically shout at me that “there is no conspiracy
among doctors to keep information from PCa patients regarding herbs. There is no medical proof
that any herb or combination of herbs ever cured cancer.” etc., etc. He practically gave me the
bum’s rush, telling me that he’d give me a “referral” to an oncologist. The “referral” turned out
to be instructing the clerk at the front desk to give me the name, address and phone number of
the local cancer clinic (located one-half block away). I told him I knew where it was and asked
about a urine sample for analysis. He answered it was not necessary for a consultation, which is
what we just had. However, during the other two previous consultations a urine sample was required of me. I furnished these samples and felt better after later being told that it looked
okay both times. If I knew where to complain about non-professional behavior displayed by a doctor (even insulting behavior) I would complain about this bully-boy. Any PCa victim deserves
compassion from an urologist, not comtempt. I still think that, if I keep up this strict diet,
this regimen I’ve described that my immune system will, at least, contain the PCa, permitting me
to live out these 20 or so years I believe I’ve got left. I’m 68 and my father, who never had
any cancer except a patch of skin cancer on the back of his left hand which resulted from an
injury he ignored (yeah, he brought it on himself, like a lot of other “he-men” in construction)
lived to by 93, dying of natural causes. I intend to be shot dead by a jealous husband at age 117. The particulars? (of my PCa, I’m writing about now, whadya think?) T1c, Gleason 3+3, PSA 12.8 (which I brought down to 4.19 in 21/2 months), 2 of 13 cores positive, one no more than 5%,
the other no more than 10%. DX in June, 2006. Last PSA 11/07/06: 4.2. Has anyone out there had
problems with any uro in re Watchful Waiting? I’d like to hear from you. casey71638@excite.com
Comment by Ken Clark — December 25, 2006 @ 6:41 pm
How evil cancer is! My mother has been fighting cancer (began in her breast) for over 10 years now. She is only 57 years old and is now a quadraplegic to toxic neuropathy in her arms and a reoccurence of thoracic spinal cancer that cannot be treated by chemo,radiation, or by surgery again. I work at a very large hospital and speak to patients on a daily basis fighting for there lives due the evilness of cancer! My heart goes out to every cancer victim and to their families. Please, if you are reading this and you know someone who is battling cancer, surrond that person with every ounce of love and support that is within your soul. Do not wait for that person to come to you and ask for something. If you see something that needs to be done-just do it!!!!
Comment by Kim — November 2, 2007 @ 8:16 am